Art Is Not Just Self Expression, It Is Also Self Justification.

Joan Cornella 2020

My roommate gets upset when people fall into the habit of self indulgence, especially in speech. And by verbalizing her annoyance she sparked an insecurity in myself when I thought I was speaking substanceless words for the sake of hearing my own voice. The act of self indulgence then became apparent to me in all quarters of life.

Growing up in Las Vegas I drove down the strip with a coiled hesitation in my body when I knew the Trump Tower was approaching.  When it finally escaped my vision from the rearview mirror I shook my head-- taking in the gold plated letters “T R U M P” that shone and projected his narcissism, his desperate need to justify himself as something greater than human.  I used to shudder at the crassness of earthly heroism, of Caesar and his imitators, until my roommate and the towers that surrounded me led me to question my other self indulgent practices instead. Slowly, I realized I was building my own Trump tower with paint. 

Art has always been held to a high regard in civilization, encased in glass boxes and gold frames, admired by all its passerbys. We romanticize the artist, and think of the artist as selfless, as one who doesn't submit to the same earthly urges as Caesar. But what we so rarely talk about is the artist's likeness to Caesar himself. According to philosopher Ernest Becker “If you are an artist you fashion a peculiar gift, the justification of your own heroic identity and the need to earn your immortality on the basis of your unique artistic qualities.” To be an artist is to live beyond your years in and their through your work. That is a lot of weight for a brush stroke, click of a camera, or carved material to carry.

But for the artist to honestly admit their works likeness to a Trump Tower and their unspoken urge to be admired would be a devastating release of truth and a greater weight to carry than the former.